Fiorella, the Old Hag

First an assault on Fiorella's bones and now on her age. Yes. Fiorella has been accused of having one foot in the grave.

It happened at her father's nursing home, which Fio visits every Thursday and Sunday. After bouncing around her cardiologist's office that morning and being pronounced fit as a fiddle, she hopped in her little sports car and sped out to Sagebrook. Fio was feeling extra good because she was wearing one of her smarter-looking outfits, black slacks and a slick red blouse embroidered in black along the yoke.

She strolled into the reception desk to sign the log. The receptionist identified her to another employee as "Nick's sister."

Fio froze into place. "What did you say?"

"I said you're Nick's sister," the woman artlessly repeated.

Fio's face turned to stone and her voice dropped into depths she didn't know it could reach. "This is the third time I have corrected you. I am not Nick's sister. I am his daughter and I'm almost thirty years younger than he is."

The woman started babbling an apology as Fiorella walked down the hall to visit her father. He was asleep, of course, and her heart wasn't in it, so she walked back up the hall and into the first open office door she saw, waited for the woman behind the desk to get off the phone, and complained long and loud. Supposedly the receptionist will be admonished by the nursing home administrator.

But Fio is still upset. Does she really look thirty years older than she is? And how does one get Blue Cross to pay for a face transplant?