Sunday, October 14, 2018


I took a quick glance at the pumpkin outside of H-E-B today when I stopped by the store for extras and was bothered by their unnatural perfection—l suspect cloning. Then I caught sight of a squat felllow with a misshapen brow and a strong stem half-way down his forehead, so I grabbed him in my motherly arms and gave him a place of honor in my cart. I don’t usually buy pumpkins this early in the season, but I couldn’t let Bruno get away.

Saturday, October 13, 2018

More Than You Want to Know

Fio lives in fear of forgetting something importent so she tries to write everything down, which means her lista amarilla is about two inches thick with notes, which means, yes, that she often loses or forgets thing.  Now you've been warned.
Fiorella also lives in frustration because there's really nothing she can do to save the nation except post her anger on FB. And talk about anger, she is seething at the reports of efforts to make it difficult or impossible for black or Native Americans to vote. Hmmm... maybe she should get herself one of those AK-15 things.
Trick-or-treat time approacheth so your Fio braved the crowds in the Halloween aisles of Target and bought about sixty dollars worth of candy, including the big bags of Hershey kisses whe gives to her guys at Mazda and at Click Computer Repair every year. Looking around, she was a troubled by all the costumes for sale. Sure they were cute, but they all looked alike. Where was the individual? Fiorella remembers the gypsy majorette costume she and her mother put together when Fio was in the first grade. The skirt and bolero were stock from God only knows where, but her mother fashioned earrings out of canning rings and tied a scarf around Fio's head while Fio turned the tops of her house slippers up so they looked like boots and, of course, carried her baton.
 How desperate is Fio to write down her every thought?  So desperate that, as she was going through the H-E-B checkout line, she smiled disarmingly at the clerk and grabbed one of the advertisements for part-time workers ($12/hr). The second she was out of sight, she jotted down notes on the purloined page for an essay on homemade Halloween costumes. Yes, people, there's more to come.
Fiorella's planning to use the Maps app for everywhere she goes, starting today, so that she'll be comfortable with it when she drives to Waco on Tuesday for that high school reunion. Wish her well. Electronics are not her strong suit. Neither are reunions.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Fiorella and Kanye

What separates Fiorella from most other people is that she's not in the least bit interested in being anybody else. Not a movie star, not a celebrity, not a man, not taller or slimmer. Okay, she wdn't mind being younger, smarter, and having more money, though.
Something else about Fio--competition is not her game. She thinks sports competition is a waste of time, energy, and money, that competing with other people in any way always ends badly, and that flashy contests are rigged. The only person she competes with is herself.
Kanye West made a fool out of himself and an even bigger fool of Trump, who usually does a pretty good job on his own. Do either of them think this performance would win over black votes?
Fiorella has put a lot of time and energy into her Halloween decoration this year. A small plastic skeleton hangs from the mailbox, and orange Tide containers decorated as jack-o'-lanterns sit at the top of the driveway. Inside the house, Fio has swirled paper bats up from a paper pumpkin and across the front windows up toward the next window, where they change into miniature witches as they reach the orange moon in the far corner. She'll try to post a picture of the mural once it is finished.
Q: Fio, you've been through a lot lately. How do you survive it?
A: Well, I'm not quiet about it and may throw a screaming fit, which helps. But I also remember when I was sick as a dog in elementary school, and my parents left me home alone because it was Saturday and they had to go buy groceries. Soon after they left, I knew I had to vomit. The bathroom was fairly close, but I was too weak to walk so I squirmed out of bed, crawled on my belly down the hall, threw up in the toilet, flushed it, and crawled back into bed. When I told my mother what had happened, I expected her to apologize for not being there and maybe even make a little fuss over me, but she just nodded as if she hadn't heard me. I resented her lack of reaction for years, but finally realized it had made me a stronger person, taught me that I could handle any situation on my own if I put my mind to it. To prove it, look how I was able to deal with the loss of the heating system, Husband's hospital and rehab stays, and other things I won't tell you about.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Truths and Confessions

Husband watches a Dr. Who marathon while Fiorella is up una escalera fixing the cord that turns the ceiling fan on and off.  Yes, Fio is now the muscle in the family.
It isn't just the immigrants who are under seige. Hitler Trump is closing in on all of us.
Melania--why do I get the idea that her African jaunt is more a photo-op of her latest wardrobe than anything else?
Yes, Fiorella writes incendiary posts. Why? Because she has a talent for it, it keeps her stoked, and  it keeps her readers fired up. Fight the good fight!
Fio alway lives on the edge, trying to please everyone and still be true to herself.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Sexual Assaults

Speaking of sexual assaults, nerdy Fiorella always felt comfortable with her high school and college dates, but after she was married, she had three minor incidents involving older males plus one almost-major incident involving a glassy-eyed guy her own age who--thank-you, God--was afraid of dogs.

But Fio's relative security does not mean she's unsympathetc to or complacent about the assaults on other women, not just because of they are females, but because they are human. In Fio's preferred world, people do not hurt each other in any way.


Tuesday, October 9, 2018


Fiorella is a caged lion, and she doesn't like it. Ther land line is down through at least Wednesday, which means she can't call the septic people to ask about the immovable cap, the window blinds shop to come fix a shade that won't go down, Mazda to see if they think Baby Car can make it to Fio's high school reunion, the woman who has Husband's grass lease in Colorado but hasn's sent the check, or her children to see how they're doing. She can sorta text her daughter, but that doesn't help any of the above.

Her next step is to drive over to Verizon and ask one of their ladies how to use the telephone on her iPhone. Also how to move her pictures onto FB. But first, she has to pick up groceries as H-E-B, get Shredded Wheat and a new water bottle at Target, buy a boxwood to replace the one the deer ate, check on zoysia fertilizer, and stop by the optomatrist to get the lenses secured AGAIN.

Put all this on top of Kavanaugh (GRRR!)and not being able to solve two of the anagrams in the newspaper this morning, and you have a Fiorella who's roaring. snarling, and looking for a good fight.