Hair and There

Fiorella always assumed her hair would turn white as she aged. Instead, it's turned blonde--which Husband said wasn't exactly a surprise. After all, a couple of years after they married, she tried, progressively, blonde, red, and dark brunette. Brunette was a real bummer: she also accidentally dyed one side of her face. After they were settled in and the kids came, Fio didn't have time for any more experimenting so she decided to let the white hairs come. After all, "frosted" hair was stylish.

The only problem was, Fio's hair didn't frost. She has hair like her father, who, at age 94, is finally turning gray. Her brother has a salt and pepper mustache, but not a white hair on his head. Five years ago, when Fio started teaching at a new school, one of the first things she was asked was if she dyed her hair. The person who asked her was only two years older than she, but had beautiful silver-white hair, while Fio was still sporting mousy brown au natural.

But no longer! Fiorella is embarrassingly vain, and soon realized that the darker hair around her face made her look--well--old. So she enlisted the aid of her hairdresser and started getting blonde streaks every couple of months. Not only did it brighten up her face, but it camouflaged what gray was beginning to appear. Asked what his teacher looked like, one of her students described her as a "graying blonde." Little did he know she was actually a "blonding gray."

Fiorella does have concerns about the bleach job, though. Her hair is very fast-growing, and if she waits too long between streakings, a strange horizontal zebra effect occurs. And she worries the bleach might be damaging her hair, or be leaking down into her brain. In fact, Husband is sure of it: this morning she tried to get out of the car to go into Target and couldn't locate the door handle.