Yo y Mis Lentes

If you have a collection of plastic pill bottles you want to go to a worthy cause, consider Matthew 5 Ministries, 11060 Kenwood Road, Cincinnati, Ohio 45242. Used eyeglasses can be sent to New Eyes, 549 Milburn Avenue, P.O. Box 332, Short Hills, New Jersey 07078. Fio's just sent her boxes off and hopes you will consider doing the same.

Speaking of glasses, Fiorella has two new pairs. The way glasses disappear on her, she always has to have a back-up. She's convinced that when she gets heaven, all the lost glasses will come tottering toward her in a single accustory line.

But Fio, you say, why don't you get contacts or have your eyes lasered? Because I have permanent lenses by way of a cataract operation, Fio answers, and anyway, I think eyeglasses make my squinchy eyes look bigger and more limpid. Don't you?

Do you have graduated lenses, you further inquire? No, I tried those a couple of years ago and they didn't work at all. The optician said it was because my nose wasn't the right shape, which I've always thought was hilarious--and unique.

Besides, it's not as if Fio wears her glasses all the time--just to drive or watch TV. Otherwise, she fling them wherever they land. Oops--maybe that's the problem.