Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Exponential Proportions

I read that the amazingly fecund Michelle Duggar has just given birth to her eighteenth child. A century ago, this large a family wouldn't have been quite as remarkable as it is nowadays, when birth control is readily available. Husband objects to the size of the family on the grounds of population control. I just wonder how the parents keep all the names straight. I myself have been known to go through husband's name, all three of the children's names, and the dog's name before hitting the right one.

I also ponder the math. If, as seems probable, the Duggars end up with at least twenty-five kids, and if each of these kids marries and, following the Full Quiver Baptist dogma, produces at least twenty-five kids, ol' Jim Bob and Michelle will have 625 grandchildren to remember the birthdays of. If the pattern continues, their great-grandchildren will number 16,625, and so on, until in the not-so-distant future, the country's name will have to be changed to the United States of Duggars.

Of course, at that time they'll have to pay full-price for everything instead of getting it used because everyone will be Duggars.

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