Musing About Family

Fiorella received a sweet card from her cousin Julie the other day, and it touched her heart. "We three sisters wish we lived closer to you," she said, and Fiorella could not help but think of what a joy it would be if she and her cousins lived in the same town and could help each other from time to time-- like now, when Fiorella is overwhelmed with responsibility. She also thought about how wonderful it would be if she and her own children lived closer enough together to help each other. Thus Fio could take Baby two or three time a week, which would reduce childcare costs for Bastrop son and bring her joy.

But tribal living doesn't pay off in the long run. One always has to follow the crops and the jobs. It's called survival.

Gems Among the Ruins

Fiorella has been going through pages she wrote many, many years ago and these are a few of the gems she unearthed:

Sometimes nonsense is the only thing that makes sense.
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Children are not production models.
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Creativity is a turn of mind that cannot be taught or tested, and, by its very nature, is inimical to the classroom.
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I see what I see and say what I say
If you don't like it, go away
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Her teaching manifesto: Yes, I want my students to master  the subject matter, to write well, and to develop a love of literature, but I also want them to be better human beings for having been in my classes. They are the means by which I hope to change the world.

Family Relationships

Have you noticed that Trump is never photographed with his youngest? That there are no father-son outings, no tramps around the links together, no companionable visits to the local fast-food hutch? It's like Melania is the only parent. Hmmmm....
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When Fiorella had children, she expected them all to be little copies of her--with maybe a smidgen  of their father thrown in. But they weren't. Insead they were themselves, and radically different from each other at that.
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Did Fiorella tell you that on International Women's Day, Daughter posted a beautiful tribute to her on line and gave out Fio's address to the world?  Your faithful correspondent cried, of course, and she's still glowing.

Robbie Saves the Day!

PARENTS OF SCHOOL-AGE CHILDREN! Fiorella has the answer you've been waiting for when it comes to protecting your kids.

Robots!

All it would take is maybe one for every twenty or so students, and, if the robots are properly programmed, they will never get bored, fall sleep, take a day off, use the restroom while they're on duty, pop off a shot just for fun, forget the combination to the drawer they put their firearm in, or those many problems that occur when one is dealing with human beings working for their daily bread.

And the great thing is that the robots would probably only cost about $100,000 apiece, which Fio is sure the NRA will gladly pay in order to protect its AK-15s. It's a win-win situation.

Aging

Fiorella wrote this sonnet twenty-five years ago, and it holds true today: 

                             

TO MY CHILDREN

When I am old, so very old I stink

Of unwashed underarms and brain cell death

So old I shake, my spine and stature shrink,

I whistle, quake, and rattle with each breath--

When I am old, so very old I drool,

And age spots big as elephants appear,

When I forget my name and act the fool

And talk too loud because I cannot hear--

Even when I'm angry, trapped in rage,

Become a miser, call each dime misspent,

When I am cruel and stupid in my age,

When I reject you, scotch your good intent--

     Remember once I loved you of my will,

     And in my heart of hearts, I love you still.

On Motherhood

Fiorella has three wonderful children, whom she loves very much.  It was not easy for her to become a mother so she values her children all the more.  This is not to say that she has always been the best mother in the world, but she tried.  And she still does.

Christmas Day

Minnesota Son and wife arrived about six yesterday, Fiorella finished her decorating by about seven, and the rest of the evening was spent cleaning up and planning for today.

The kitchen crew will have its hands full--ham and turkey and salmon, green beans and broccoli and mushrooms, potatoes and dressing, salad, pies and pudding.  Husband, Daughter, and Daughters-in-Law will take care of most of the cooking, with Fio boiling the potatoes and baking the salmon--she already made the pudding last night (smart girl).  

God bless our table and our family. And God bless you and yours.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Adieu

This will probably be the last time that Fio decorates the house for Christmas. It has always been a joy to her to construct the tree, supervise the placement of the lights, hang the ornaments, and fling the tinsel.  For years, she has wrapped the banisters with ersatz greenery, then added ribbons and ornaments.  She's tied red bows around everything she could, hung wreaths, put up one swag of birds,  butterflies, and ornamental fruit and vegetables, and another swag of exotic birds.  She's even decorated the bathroom closet door.  And, of course, the windows got their share of attention too.

But lately she's realized that she's the only one who enjoys her efforts.  After all, the children are all grown and they've seen their mother's miracles before--year after year, in fact.  Somewhere along the line, Fio thought there would be more children whose eyes would look in wonder at Fio's decorations, like she did at her own mother's.  But such is not to be.

Hang up the Santa hat, Fiorella.  Your time is past.

Paper Cups

Fiorella is a big supporter of the paper cup industry.  She uses one per day as her water cup and another one as her morning milk cup.  Paper cups are not only easy to use, but save on dishwasher use, which is important when one has a septic system. And when one has three thirsty children.

Fiorella grew up using a common cup for casual drinks of water.  The whole family drank from the same yellow plastic cup which was in a holder next to the refrigerator. And, yes, Virginia, the family that drinks together also catches everything that comes along together.

Live on, paper cups.

Duggar Scandal

Fiorella is not a fan of the Duggar family, but she finds no joy in their current situation.  These are people, real people, and the explosion of their world is sad for everyone involved, but something was bound to blow sooner or later.  There were too many children in--at the outset--too small a house, with too little access to the outside world, and far too little adult supervision.

And there will be more to come.

Sonia's World

Sonia Dog lives in a world of love and always has.  She was a favorite in her kennel, then became Fiorella's darling.

Fio and Husband have fed her, walked her, and cuddled her. She's had the best of medical care, been taken to PetsMart training classes, sleeps in bed with Fio and Husband, is petted, cosseted and accommodated.  Her food bowl is always full, her water is regularly changed.  She receives a retriever stick every morning and Milkbone treats throughout the day.  The back seat of the car is fitted with a hammock in which Sonia reclines in comfort and grace when she rides around with Mommy and Daddy.

Every child in the world should be so lucky.

To Spank or Not

The debate about spanking was raging full force when Fiorella's children were little.   Fio herself had been spanked as she grew up, usually by her mother, first by hand, then with a yardstick,  She was also slapped across the face, especially as a teenager. In accordance with tradition, Fiorella spanked her first child, slapped his hand when he got into forbidden stuff, and slapped his face once that she remembers, when he kept pushing down the receiver on a telephone while she was trying to make an emergency call,

Then it dawned on her that physical punishment wasn't working, that Son considered himself shed of his sins afterwards and proceeded into new mischief.  So Fiorella switched strategies and tried to build a conscience in him.  She did the same with her other two children, relapsing occasionally, she admits, in dire circumstances.

If Fio ever has grandchildren, she hopes they will be violence-free.  We CAN improve from generation to generation.

Celebrate!

Fiorella had a week-long birthday celebration--Facebook and RWA congratulations, Minnesota son and wife calling, Husband taking her out to Fish Daddy's on her actual birthday, friend Paula treating her to breakfast at Dan's, the pastor leading the small Wednesday noon congregation in singing Happy Birthday to her, Friend Sharon taking her out to Dan's for an afternoon hamburger, Brother and his wife taking her out for dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse on Saturday evening, her Austin children treating her to cake and ice cream on Sunday afternoon.

The happiest birthday week ever!

Mother's Day Reflection

Happy Mother's Day to Fiorella.

Motherhood was not easy for Fio to come by, which means she values her three children all the more.   Thank you, Minnesota son.  Thank you, Austin son.  Thank you, daughter.

Thank you, my darlings, for making Fiorella a mother.

The Visual

The new remote isn't letting Fiorella hear a thing so all she could do was watch the action on The Little Couple last night, and she was struck again by what a sweet relationship Bill and Jen have with their children, hugging and kissing them every chance they get.

Her own mother would have regarded all that physical contact as soppy.  Fio always knew Mother loved her, but hugs were reserved for someone going or coming home from a long trip, and one kiss a day at bedtime was the limit.

Times change.

People Puppies

Sonya Dog is becoming accustomed to high-pitched voices and little beings who dart unexpectedly hither and thither.  Becoming accustomed at a distance, that is.

Remember how Fiorella lamented the lack of a rent-a-kid business that she would patronize in order to teach Sonya about children?  Well, the new neighbors across the street have supplied her need.  They have two active boys, about eight and eleven, both in constant motion.  The older one shoots baskets when he isn't zooming his motorized bike all around the property  The younger one recently hosted a birthday party--about ten of those little beings with high-pitched voices darting up and down the driveway.

Sonya quivered in fear and excitement, but she didn't bark at them, which is a good sign.  After all, she's become inured to the rude dogs next door who hurl themselves against the fence in a vain effort to tear her throat out.  Surely she will eventually be able to deal with people puppies.

Numbers Lady

Fiorella has a fascination with numbers. .

She noticed years ago that her three children were born exactly sixty-nine days apart from each other, and recently realized that there's a pattern to the addresses at which she has lived: 429, 2609, pause, 809, 4607, 11508, 9907, 141.  Three numerals, then four; starting over as a married woman with three, then four, then five, then relaxing to four, and three.

There's also the constant 1-10 counting she does in seven languages.

Must be her vampire heritage.

Dressed Appropriately

Back in the dark ages, when Fio was a child, little girls wore dresses.  Ah, the elation in finally being able to tie the sash in a bow behind  her back.  Ah, the joy in her aunt, valuing Fiorella's entrancement over Mother's eye rolling, buying her the dress she fell in love with and still remembers--pink with a black paisley border.

Fiorella thinks blue jeans and tees became popular children's wear during the 1980's, when women hit the employment market in droves, the decade when women couldn't afford to stay stay home any more and run up cute little dresses on their sewing machines.  Then somehow the cover-up of jeans and loose tee shirts morphed into the slut decades, when little girls were exhibited in miniature street-walker outfits--bling, sparkle, belly buttons, and skin-tight. 

But now, dresses are back--store-bought, of course, but little girls are being dressed like children again. And Fio finds it charming.

 

 

Positive Reinforcement

Sonia Dog is a joy to walk with now.  She matches Fio's pace and pauses when Fio pauses.  She automatically sits when she hears a car in the distance.  She sits on command when a car passes within four feet of her on the road.  She reluctantly obeys "leave it" when the neighboring dogs bark at her and when she wants to stop and examine an interesting scent.  And Fiorella encourages all of these good behaviors with treats.

If only Fio had followed the same  policy with her children, but, depending on what parenting expert she had read most recently, she dithered back and forth between positive and negative reinforcement.  And always in her brain was her own parental admonition that achievement and good behavior should be the norm and not require a reward, but inappropriate behavior should be recognized as such.  It was the wisdom of the times.

Mother's Day Gifts

Fiorella adores children, especially babies.  She loves their bright, searching eyes, smushy noses, and Cupid's-bow mouths.  She loves to cuddle their soft, warm bodies, to count their tiny fingers and toes, to kiss their fat bellies, to hold them, sing to them, to rock them to sleep.  She always wanted to be a mother--could not imagine herself otherwise--but her path to maternity was hard, beginning with a horrific miscarriage.

But then there were three, the best three in the world, and today Fiorella thanks them for being her children, for making her their mother.