A Beggar on the Intersection Island

Fiorella was chawing down on her first  chunk of chocolate when she spotted the beggar woman on the intersection island holding up a scrawled sign that said, "ANYTHING WILL DO."

Guilt wormed through Fio. Should she hand over her second chunk? But what if the woman was allergic to chocolate or she was diabetic, or what if she rejected Fio's offering because it didn't have a wrapper around it or because she just plain didn't like chocolate? And what if Fio was just making up excuses to herself  for not sharing  her chocolate?

What should she do? How could she decide?

The light changed, the traffic started moving, and the woman turned around and reclaimed her bag and water bottle, so Fiorella finished off the second chunk of chocolate herself.

But did she subconsciously deliberate deliberately so she wouldn't have to share?

Sociopathology Revisited

Sociopaths are charming, clever, and have a wicked sense of humor.  They woo you with compliments, profess their loyalty, and say you are their best friend--until, of course, someone better comes along.

They murder the soul.

But forgive them.  They can't help it.  They were born that way--without a conscience.

To Spank or Not

The debate about spanking was raging full force when Fiorella's children were little.   Fio herself had been spanked as she grew up, usually by her mother, first by hand, then with a yardstick,  She was also slapped across the face, especially as a teenager. In accordance with tradition, Fiorella spanked her first child, slapped his hand when he got into forbidden stuff, and slapped his face once that she remembers, when he kept pushing down the receiver on a telephone while she was trying to make an emergency call,

Then it dawned on her that physical punishment wasn't working, that Son considered himself shed of his sins afterwards and proceeded into new mischief.  So Fiorella switched strategies and tried to build a conscience in him.  She did the same with her other two children, relapsing occasionally, she admits, in dire circumstances.

If Fio ever has grandchildren, she hopes they will be violence-free.  We CAN improve from generation to generation.

Movin' On

When Fiorella's fourth grade teacher talked to the class about small thefts that had occurred in the classroom, Fio went home that afternoon and checked her bureau drawers to be sure she wasn't an unknowing kleptomaniac.  Yes, your Fio has an overly strong sense of guilt.

But some people have no sense of guilt at all, no sense of right and wrong, no conscience.  It's marvelously freeing to be around a person like that, to be able to express whatever snarkiness comes to mind and laugh about it, to be coaxed out of post-utterance guilt.  But ultimately, there's a price to pay--a lack of conscience means the person has no sense of responsibility to anyone, including you.

Fio has been wrestling with the dregs of this situation for months.  The only way to bury it is to understand it.

But it still makes Fiorella sad.