ALL SORTS OF THINGS

 When Fiorella was a child, as spring approached, women would make or buy themselves a new hat for spring or what the clothing industry called the Easter parad--and what the musicians transformed into a song, "The Easter Parade." The populace went along with, of course, and thus Fio participated in her share number of the "parades," from leftovers of neighborhood shuffles to school set-ups. Your girl herself, was the star of a couple of little plays put on by her church and neighborhood and another one by her first grade class. Soon afterwords, of course, hats went out of style.....

Right now, Fiorella is looking through a pack of old papers that she'd tucked away long ago, papers which have such titles as "The Biggest Baby in the World," "Harry Potter for Adults," and "The Fat Woman Chronicle," all of which your girl may dump into your lap when she's looking for interesting material. Right now, all she'll say is that being a heavyset woman can have its advantages.

Speaking of weight, Fio's going to feed you a one-pager she wrote a while back called "Diet."

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Once upon a time, there was a slender young woman, a good woman, who was married to the man of her dreams. The woman's best friend was fat and unmarried.

"If you lost some weight, Your true nature would be revealed and you would be able to attract a husband as wonderful as mine," the slender young woman said. "I will help you."

So with the encouragement of her slender young friend, the fat woman dieted away one hundred pounds and become became a devastating beauty. She was so devastating, in fact, that she was able to seduce her friend's husband, who left his wife for her.

"How could you do this to me?" the slender young woman complained to her formerly fat friend. "I have been a good friend to you, and I was the one who helped you diet to reveal your true nature."

""Unfortunately," the former fat woman replied, "My true nature is evil."