Up in Flames

Years ago Fiorella saw a reality show on TV in which a variety of families volunteered to live like old-time pioneers. She cheered on the enterprising couple that found a box spring mattress in the woods and toted it back to their cabin, arguing that pioneers would have made use of "found goods." And she booed the bitchy woman who smoked a pipe and was constantly carping about the enterprising couple. And she remembers how the adventure was called off after the amount of firewood that had been harvested for the winter was tabulated--the stacks looked like enough to warm all of Iceland to Fio, but the experts said they weren't adequate.

Now Fio understands. Husband chainsawed FOUR big iron rings full of wood this fall, and now, halfway through winter, two-thirds of it is gone.

Luckily he bought himself a new chainsaw for Christmas.