Apprentice Needed

Okay, the reveal is one day closer--who will be Trump's lackey running mate?  Chris Christie?  Ben Carson?  Maybe Rick Perry? Fio's betting against Newt Gingrich because he knows a lot more about politics than Trump does and is likely to take off in his own direction.  That leaves the Trumpeteer with Chris Christie, Ben Carson, Rick Perry and a couple of politicians with no national street cred. Maybe Ivanka is his best choice after all.

Same Ol', Same Ol'

No matter what kind of specs he puts on
Perry's day has come and gone.
Dewhurst is icky and Patrick's a fluke
Abbot's a pawn, and Cruz is a kook.
Wendy Davis doesn't float my boat
But Leticia VandePutte gets my vote.
It's politics as usual down Texas way
Nothing new on the horizon today.

Sandusky, Perry, Plum

So, Jerry Sandusky's admitting to "horsing around" in the showers with naked boys, calling it athletic camaraderie, but denies sexual assault. It's the Michael Jackson defense, and if Sandusky would have a fatal accident soon, he also would be forgiven and canonized. Or, as Fiorella's mother said when she heard one of Fio's teachers had been arraigned on similar charges, "Those nasty boys."
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Rick Perry is Fio's favorite buffoon. Whooda thunk he had so much comedy in him? She's getting a real charge of his planning of dismantle the government and start from scratch. He could name his new creation Perrymania.
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Fiorella received another agent rejection today. She's beginning to think that, despite her ferocious contest record, she's going to have to go "indie," which means self-publishing.

Perry's Good Points

Interesting that Perry is getting dinged for two of his stands that Fio likes--saying no to a border fence and saying yes to educating the children of illegal immigrants.

Fiorella thinks a border fence would be be useless. Haven't those Yankees heard of how many fully-fitted tunnels are found under the current fences each year? Besides, the expense would be horrific.

And about education, Fio votes yes. She always has. Education is the essence of civilization.

Fresh Meat?

So now New Jersey governor Chris Christie is considering a leap into the lions' den. You can bet that the other candidates, Rick Perry's lone star blood still dripping from their mouths, are gnashing their teeth and sharpening their claws.

Maybe it's a mutual suicide pact. All the carnage sorta makes you yearn for the day when everything was decided discreetly in smoke-filled back rooms.

Messages

If her handlers would let her, Michele Bachmann would probably say the Texas wildfire is God's way of telling Rick Perry to bow out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. But when Fiorella opened up the newspaper this morning, she learned there's a wildfire raging in northern Minnesota too.

Maybe God has a message for both of them.

Bachmann, Palin, and Perry

The Iowa straw poll has demonstrated its irrelevancy for the second electoral season in a row. Four years ago it ranked Mitt Romney at the top of Republican voter selection and John McCain tenth. This year, Michele Bachmann placed first, but Fio just doesn't think she's gonna pan out.

Speaking of not panning out, Fio notices that Sarah Palin's star is fading fast. Wonder how much she can get for that tour bus on resale? Maybe Rick Perry could buy it and travel around the country putting on tent revivals.

Speaking of Rick Perry, have you ever seen such a showboat? Brings to mind Elmer Gantry.

A Bad Day for Good Hair

Fiorella's running a little behind, but she was glad to see the justice system works in a few cases, namely when Rod Blagojevich, who's as dirty as they come, got convicted. This despite his good hair.

Come to think of it, didn't Anthony Wiener have good hair too?

Watch your step, Rick Perry.

Republican Snippets

Palin won't run for President because there's an the off-chance she might get it and thus be saddled with responsibility and accountability, both of which she avoids like the plague.
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Fascinating that the Republican Leadership Conference group hired an Obama impersonator for entertainment and laughed like crazy at the racially-specific Obama jokes, but walked the man off-stage when he began jibing at Newt Gingrich and Michelle Bachmann. Guess blackface comedians aren't funny unless they're making fun of one of their own.
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Perry's nomination aspirations are based on good hair and how well he has supposedly governed Texas. The hair wins.