Just Messin' with You, Guy

Fiorella has a theory about the vicissitudes of the Republican political polls. She thinks the Iowans were sick and tired of being questioned every time they turned around and started giving the most preposterous answers they could think of just to have a little fun. How else can you explain the rise and fall of Bachmann, Perry, Cain, Gingrich, and Paul? And if Santorum is on the rise, can Huntsman be far behind?

The situation reminds Fio of when she got tired of receiving a string of slanted questionnaires from a far-right think tank--which wasn't too bright because it assumed her serving as a local Democratic precinct chairman meant she was a deep-water conservative. One can only resist temptation for so long, and Fio finally filled out one of the forms. Yes, she was in favor of destroying the economy for the sake of the environment. Yes, she opposed our Constitutional right to bear arms of any kind, even squirt guns, sling shots, and watermelon seeds. Yes, she was in favor of making Islam the national religion.

She'd like to tell you she never heard from the so-called think tank again, but apparently the only thing that mattered was whether or not she'd included a check, and, since she hadn't, she kept on receiving questionnaires. Now she just tosses them.

Which is maybe what the Republicans should have done with the Iowa polls.

Bachmann, Palin, and Perry

The Iowa straw poll has demonstrated its irrelevancy for the second electoral season in a row. Four years ago it ranked Mitt Romney at the top of Republican voter selection and John McCain tenth. This year, Michele Bachmann placed first, but Fio just doesn't think she's gonna pan out.

Speaking of not panning out, Fio notices that Sarah Palin's star is fading fast. Wonder how much she can get for that tour bus on resale? Maybe Rick Perry could buy it and travel around the country putting on tent revivals.

Speaking of Rick Perry, have you ever seen such a showboat? Brings to mind Elmer Gantry.