Apprentice Needed

Okay, the reveal is one day closer--who will be Trump's lackey running mate?  Chris Christie?  Ben Carson?  Maybe Rick Perry? Fio's betting against Newt Gingrich because he knows a lot more about politics than Trump does and is likely to take off in his own direction.  That leaves the Trumpeteer with Chris Christie, Ben Carson, Rick Perry and a couple of politicians with no national street cred. Maybe Ivanka is his best choice after all.

Gingrich's Jam

Newt Gingrich reportedly said he would like Sarah Palin to have a role in his administration. But a little bird tells Fiorella that the high-flying Sarah wouldn't accept the vice-presidential slot again, and that not even Newt would be--uh--newt-brained enough to make her Secretary of State. So what does that leave? Well, Fio has an idea, which involves another headline story.

Yesterday the TV talk shows were dominated by the news that celebrity chef Paula Deen has diabetes. Every time Fio switched channels, there was yet another skinny-faced sourpuss blaming Deen's diabetes, along with the ever-increasing obesity of America and the fall of Rome, on the amount of butter Ms. Happyface uses in her recipes.

So--maybe Gingrich could make Sarah, who is slender and athletic, his Secretary of Health so she could regulate the country's dietary habits.

But no, he'd have to put her in the pillory with ol' Paula. Sarah's the one who countered Michelle Obama's healthy-eating campaign by charging over to her local public school with a batch of homemade cookies in hand.

Secretary of War?