Snippets

My computer is running slow today and so am I, so I'll just give you snippets that amuse me. But then, as Husband says, I am easily amused.

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It's hard for Daughter and me to communicate. She isn't interested in what I'm doing, and she sure doesn't want to tell me what she is doing.

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Husband knows nothing about Britney Spears except that she flashed her shaved crotch and it's on the Internet.

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Whatever I think or plan or dream is going to happen in my life, will not. Whatever never even occurs to me, will.

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I frequently read claims from people, usually show business types, that they have "old souls." I think that if souls actually do have ages, mine is a mere toddler. Otherwise I wouldn't have done so many dumb things in my life.

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Five dog treats went through the washer and drier in the pocket of my housecoat yesterday. It's amazing what good shape they're still in--and a little frightening.

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Health news keeps getting better and better. Now chocolate (at least dark chocolate, which I adore) is good for us, as is coffee (which I hate--too bad). The reputation of brisket has also been redeemed. Soon to be announced: the nutritional benefits of fried chicken.

Not that I have a chance anyway. I'm destined for Alzheimer's, diabetes, and stroke: short arms and legs, belly fat, coffee aversion, overlarge babies, sedentary lifestyle. The doctors are after me about the latter, but, hey--sitting on my butt and writing all day is what's going to pay their greens' fees.

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Who am I?
I am a future lottery winner.
I look domestic, but am not.
My goal in life is a full-time housekeeper.
I lull myself to sleep at night planning plastic surgeries
I am writing a book (but then, I live in Austin. Who isn't?)