Fio's mother tried to be cool, but she frequently blew her stack, and Fiorella soon learned that the smartest, safest thing to do was to totally back off, to go passive. So if there was a problem between her mother and herself, she took the fall. Funny thing--the pattern repeated itself with Fio's own kids, but inside out. If there was a problem between Fiorella and her kids, she went passive and took the fall again. And she still does it.
This situation is not good for Fiorella or her children, and she has resolved to change it. The next time around, she will tell whoever blows up at her that she is open to an amiable discussion, but will not accept being excoriated.
It's never too late to improve relationships.