Sleepy-pie.

Forensic Files is Fio's favorite nighttime lullaby.  She watches episode after episode to calm herself before she goes to bed,  The narrator's voice is smooth and soothing, the cases are always solved, and there's no drama.

She also likes House Hunters, and various home renovation shows, especially Income Property.  Scott makes her feel like all is right with the world, which she needs to hear when she' wants to fall asleep.

And then there are the really boring commercials for hair transplants . . . .
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Tile Styles

Fiorella doesn't remember the kitchen backsplashes of her youth, but her current kitchen has one--although its small black tiles would be considered "dated" by HGTV's finicky House Hunters.  The current de rigeur is still small tiles, but set in abstract designs,

No, wait!  There's a new trend a-comin' 'round the bend!  Twice already, Fio's spotted the use of larger, Mexican-style tiles, set edge on edge so there's no grout between them to get nasty.

Now, about those bathroom showers that are total "gut jobs" unless they have a contrasting horizontal band of small tiles around the wall . . . .

Sleeping Tight

Fiorella is an HGTV addict.  She likes to watch House Hunters and its various offshoots before trotting off to bed because their total lack of drama soothes her ever-seething brain.  No murders, no chase scene, no competitions, no death or destruction--just shallow people with loads of money looking for houses with impressive entryways, high ceilings, hardwood floors, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, gas stoves, large bedrooms, huge closets, and multiple luxurious bathrooms complete with double sinks.  Oh--and did Fio leave out "a view" and "character?"

Even the script is banal.  At some point, a prospective homeowner always says something about how he/she can picture himself/herself sitting on the deck sipping a drink as the sun goes down, or some such nonsense.

But Fio isn't complaining.  These shows are her lullaby.

Educational TV

If you are parents who want to bring up kids to be sweet and caring, check out The Little Couple.

If you are a guy who wants to break into television, court a Duggar daughter from Nineteen and Counting.

If you doubt Americans are the most blessed people in the world, watch House Hunters.

If you can't go to sleep, turn on late night television.

To TV or Not to TV?

Until the television lost its sound, Fiorella never realized what a noisy environment she had been living in.  Not that she ever had the TV on during the day, but when Husband came home in the evening, the controllers got heavy usage.  Big Bang, NCIS, and, after Husband went to bed, House Hunters and Little Couple.  And if Fio was up late because she couldn't sleep, anything else that was on the tube was game.

It's different now.  Fio and Husband are talking more.  The house seems cozier--although that could be because of the autumnal darkness. Maybe we should can  the TV altogether.

Time Management

Timewise, Fiorella is always in a bind.  That's why she multi-tasks and counts her physical therapy reps in German (weights), Russian (plies), Spanish (angel wings), French (windmills), Telugu (back tighteners), and Latin (head presses).  That's why, when she's exhausted and needs to trudge up to bed every night, she makes a sidestop in her once-and-future study to search through yet another pile of papers to try to find that business contract she's scouring the house for.  That's why she's glad the TV has lost its sound and been off for a week.

Fio didn't realize it, but TV is a major time suck.  Sure, it relaxes her to watch Big Bang Theory reruns, Little Couple firsties, and increasingly stupid House Hunters, but she also gets drawn into other shows, like an episode of Father Brown she caught a couple of weeks ago, or stray performances on America's Got Talent. 

Maybe the TV sound will stay off forever.  After a minor withdrawal period, Fio doesn't miss it--she can play old BBT episodes in her head as she works on Lolly's story, which has progressed quite well this week. After all, aside from catering to Sonia Dog's every whimper and whim, aside from gathering poems for her new Kinko's booklet, aside from searching for appropriate Christmas gifts, aside from preparing to teach a poetry class at the Georgetown library, aside from tending to the family business, aside from whipping her study into shape, aside from contacting McHandyman to repair the balcony door and re-weatherstrip the house, aside from preparing for Austin son's wedding, aside from taking care of the house, what else does she have to do?

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Sleepytime TV

Hear ye, hear ye!

In order to relax at the end of the day, Fiorella wants to watch happy. charming, non-challenging, low-key television from eight to ten.  No shows with tension in them, which cuts out America's Got Talent and the like, and also covers all the NCIS variants.  No scary shows either--Fio doesn't need to dream of what might be lurking in her attic.  And nothing that makes her sad, excited, or angry.

Plain jane House Hunters, Little Couple, and Income Property are usually her choices, but the former is in reruns and the latter two seem to be in abeyance..

Maybe she'll be forced to take up reading again.

Television Snippets

Spoiler alert: Fio's noticed HGTV has a new gimmick going on with House Hunters.  The chosen house is the one the buyers dis the most, as if it being unfurnished wasn't enough of a give-away.
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Back to the old days, remember The Brady Bunch?  Six kids--three blonde little girls to maintain the illusion that Florence Henderson's hair color was  natural and three rowdy little boys to maintain the illusion that Robert Reed was heterosexual.
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More info on Bill and Jen's dwarf baby.  Apparently the new addition to The Little Couple is a boy, three years old, and from China, which makes Fio ponder circumstances--China will have finally reached its own stride when dwarf American-born babies are adopted over there.

Down with HOUSE HUNTERS!

HGTV has turned people into house snobs.  Time and time again, perfectly good houses are belittled  as  "needing updating.  "  Working sinks, stoves, and refrigerators aren't enough for a kitchen--buyers insist on stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, and dark cabinets.   Bathrooms must include double sinks,  double showers, and separate tubs.  Throughout the house, floors must be wood,  lighting fixtures brand-spanking new, and the floor plan "open."

People,  think for yourselves!  Choose a spacious, well-constructed house that suits your family needs and is located in a pleasant neighborhood because the next time you turn around, stylish appliances will be purple, counters will be leather, cabinets will be metal, bathrooms will be outdoors, flooring will be ceramic, lighting fixtures retro, and the floor plan "closed."