Hodge Podge

It irritates the heck out of Fiorella to watch HGTV shows about people who toss money around like it's water. And they're all so young!
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Did you know Price's exodus has brought the tally of number of Trumps' drop-outs to fourteen? And he hasn't even been in office a year yet?
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With the heavy rains we've had, Fio's bayberries look like they've grown a foot taller. Too bad they don't know she's going to be chopping off their heads come November.
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Why is it Fio has nine mosquito bites on her left arm and none on her right?
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Fio got hit by an older man backing his truck out of a parking space at Walgreens the other day.  Apparently, he couldn't see that Baby Car had already started backing, but, luckily, the man sitting in a car next to Fio realized what was happening and honked his horn long and loud. Fio stopped. The truck didn't. CRASH! The older man parked and hobbled over to look at the damage to Baby Car. Surprisingly, there was none, so Fio's going to stop by Mazda and tell the all guys what great rear ends they have.

Tile Styles

Fiorella doesn't remember the kitchen backsplashes of her youth, but her current kitchen has one--although its small black tiles would be considered "dated" by HGTV's finicky House Hunters.  The current de rigeur is still small tiles, but set in abstract designs,

No, wait!  There's a new trend a-comin' 'round the bend!  Twice already, Fio's spotted the use of larger, Mexican-style tiles, set edge on edge so there's no grout between them to get nasty.

Now, about those bathroom showers that are total "gut jobs" unless they have a contrasting horizontal band of small tiles around the wall . . . .

Renovations in Casa Fiorella

Call HGTV!  Fiorella and Husband did their own renovating this weekend, and it worked out great.  They redesigned their mudroom--really the entryway to the kitchen from the garage, on the wall of which they'd fastened a 28" long coat rack, a small rack for their keys, and a smaller rack for their dog leashes and collars. But, since they were  too lazy to tote jackets to the coat closet in the foyer, the outdoor apparel usually piled up on the mudroom coat rack.

Fio being Fio, she decided to do something about it,  She studied the area, measured and figured, and dragged Husband into her scheme, Her first step was to remove the bulletin board off the wall beside the coat rack and rehang it on the corner wall.  Then she moved the smaller racks further over behind the kitchen door ( the key rack above the leash rack), and husband screwed them into the wall.  Easier said than done, but it worked, which was very encouraging because the next day they tackled the old coat rack. After Husband got it off the wall, Fio measured the length of the space and decided they needed a 48" coat rack, which Home Depot wold surely have.  They hopped in the car.

After two false starts with orange apron losers, Husband located a Home Depot employee who actually understood what we were talking about and led us to the coat racks, none of which were 48". Fio's heart sank. She looked over the rest of the stock, did some quick mental math, and decided to take a chance on three identical 18" racks.  If the measurements didn't work out, they could always return the racks.

Half an hour's labor, mainly on Husband's part, did the trick, and Casa Fiorella has a brand new, more accommodating mud room.

Ta-da!

Sleeping Tight

Fiorella is an HGTV addict.  She likes to watch House Hunters and its various offshoots before trotting off to bed because their total lack of drama soothes her ever-seething brain.  No murders, no chase scene, no competitions, no death or destruction--just shallow people with loads of money looking for houses with impressive entryways, high ceilings, hardwood floors, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, gas stoves, large bedrooms, huge closets, and multiple luxurious bathrooms complete with double sinks.  Oh--and did Fio leave out "a view" and "character?"

Even the script is banal.  At some point, a prospective homeowner always says something about how he/she can picture himself/herself sitting on the deck sipping a drink as the sun goes down, or some such nonsense.

But Fio isn't complaining.  These shows are her lullaby.

Observations

Back to the future:
In days of yore, older women wore dresses and younger women reveled in unisex pants.  Now older women are still wearing those pants and younger women have rediscovered dresses.
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Book cover illustrations:
If heroes start shaving their faces again, will they be allowed to stop shaving theirs chests (and further down?)
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HGTV
Most neighborhoods that realtors call up-and-coming would be better described as down-and-out.

Television Snippets

Spoiler alert: Fio's noticed HGTV has a new gimmick going on with House Hunters.  The chosen house is the one the buyers dis the most, as if it being unfurnished wasn't enough of a give-away.
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Back to the old days, remember The Brady Bunch?  Six kids--three blonde little girls to maintain the illusion that Florence Henderson's hair color was  natural and three rowdy little boys to maintain the illusion that Robert Reed was heterosexual.
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More info on Bill and Jen's dwarf baby.  Apparently the new addition to The Little Couple is a boy, three years old, and from China, which makes Fio ponder circumstances--China will have finally reached its own stride when dwarf American-born babies are adopted over there.

Down with HOUSE HUNTERS!

HGTV has turned people into house snobs.  Time and time again, perfectly good houses are belittled  as  "needing updating.  "  Working sinks, stoves, and refrigerators aren't enough for a kitchen--buyers insist on stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, and dark cabinets.   Bathrooms must include double sinks,  double showers, and separate tubs.  Throughout the house, floors must be wood,  lighting fixtures brand-spanking new, and the floor plan "open."

People,  think for yourselves!  Choose a spacious, well-constructed house that suits your family needs and is located in a pleasant neighborhood because the next time you turn around, stylish appliances will be purple, counters will be leather, cabinets will be metal, bathrooms will be outdoors, flooring will be ceramic, lighting fixtures retro, and the floor plan "closed."

Plaints and Complaints

House and Garden TV has opened America's eyes to the excesses of the excessively rich.  Fio never realized people could casually drop a couple of mil into a Caribbean vacation home.   She never realized people could sink a cool million into one room.   She never realized people could be so picky about what their kitchen cabinets were made of when half the world be thrilled just to have roofs over their heads.
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The sound is out on Fiorella's TV, Mozy messed with her when she was trying to sign up, and she is worried about getting everything ready for the arrival of Older Son and his wife on Friday, not to mention the anniversary celebration on Sunday.  She's stressed.
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Fiorella is a Facebook idiot.  She can't put up pictures on her own and there's some weird lock on her clever comments that is probably keeping people from replying--or they're just not interested.  Email is so much simpler.  Handwritten letters would be even simpler.  Heck--take it down to the smoke signal level.

Why Fio Watches HGTV

Husband leaves the room when Fio tunes in HGTV.

Why does she watch it? Because it's an oasis from the world of TV drama. No one is killed or raped or maimed. There are no sudden booms, no gushes of blood, no eviscerated bodies. Everyone is asininely sweet to everyone else.

It's also an oasis from the real world.

Husband reads his Nook, Fio watches HGTV.