Wendy Dog Tells All

My name is Lady Gwendolyn Gloriana, although I allow my humans to refer to me as "Wendy Dog." I am writing today to tell you how well-trained my pets are, especially the female.

She's learned to let me outdoors at my command and back inside just as quickly, and the male has learned to leave the toilet lid up so I can drink my favorite beverage comfortably--I'm too high class for common water bowls.

The male is also my primary supplier of treats, especially if he's not looking.

And you'll be glad to know I have also been getting the female to clean house. All I do is sneak into the pantry, extricate a bag of powdered sugar, a package of licorice, biscuit mix, a mango, and whatever else smells good, cart each one to my pillow in the den, and tear into the lot of them. It took an hour and the garage vac for the female to clean everything up, but it was good training for her.

Remember my motto: a trained human is a happy human. Ta!