Late Night Notes

Husband and I are even-steven when it comes to dental work. His parents paid for the braces that closed the gap between my two front teeth, and I used a chunk of the inheritance my father left me to pay for caps for his disintegrating teeth.
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 Okay, Fio will tell you what she wrote on to a Trumper on FB la couple of nights ago: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SUPPORT SOMEONE WHOSE IDEA OF STATESMANSHIP IS WAGGLING HIS PENIS AT NORTH KOREA? And in the bright light of day, she stands by her every word.
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Fio, a born lone wolf, has always had it in the back of her head that if she produced good art, wrote good stories, composed good music, and did good things, she would be recognized and successful. In her dotage, she has realized that recognition and success are based on making "the right" connections. The rest is gone with the wind.

Aaron and Vienna

Fio's Austin offspring were not at Brother Bill's birthday/Thanksgiving celebration, and here's the reason why: THEY WERE ATTENDING NEPHEW AARON'S WEDDING IN HONG KONG! The bride is the lovely Vienna Wong.  Fio and Husband met Vienna's parents and sister at Christmas a couple of years ago, as you may remember.

Aaron is the last man standing of the cousins, the last to get married, and Fio wishes all the best for him and Vienna.

Imperfect Parents

Fiorella's parents wanted their children to strive for the best, but they also wanted them not to be big-headed.

Thus, when Fio came home elated because she'd made 98.5 on one of Miss Osborn's quite challenging Latin tests and Miss O had written  "YOU ARE GOOD!" across the top of the page, Fio's father looked at her, smiled, and said "Why didn't you make 100?" And when he and her mother visited newly-wed Fio and Husband in their little duplex that Fio had spent days cleaning and decorating, all he noticed was the dust on the rungs of the rocker.  And when Husband made a room-to-room narrated video of Fiorella's lavish Christmas decorations, Dad let her know, with a smile, that Husband did a better job of narrating than she did.  What the heck!  She was the one who'd done all the work, who'd invested a whole month to hanging wreaths, bells, birds, swags, and ornaments!!

Why do these things still sting?  Fio knows her father loved her.

More to the point, what sort of dumb, unthinking, or mistaken things did Fio do to her own kids?

Telephone History

Fiorella's parents had a four-party line, then a two-party line, and, as time marched on, a private line.  But long distance was prohibitively expensive, especially when the family moved fifteen hundred miles away from relatives, which meant they called "home" only on Christmas and Easter.

Along the way, four-digit phone numbers went up to five, then received two digit prefixes, and long distance rates began going down.  Then area codes were assigned for long distance.  Next came the cell phone, and now, those area codes have become mandatory for local calls too, as in 123-456-7890.

Show this post to your children for history's sake, although they'll never believe people communicated without Smartphones.

"Just Who Do You Think You Are?"

Fio is constantly disappointed in herself, constantly berating herself.  She learned it at her mother's knee. Her parents were concerned that she not have a swelled head--think too highly of herself.  There was also probably a bit of  the protective "don't reach too far or you'll get your arm cut off" involved.

Dad always said praise never helped anyone, that he wanted criticism (although Fio never saw him take it well).  Maybe that's why when Fiorella made an impossible 98 1/2 on Miss Osborn's Latin test, he smiled and asked,"Why didn't you make 100?"  Mom, whose mantra was that one shouldn't praise kids for doing what they should do anyway, was more subtle, challenging Fiorella's confidence with comments like "You just THINK so," when Fiorella said she could tell whether Baby needed a diaper change or not. And questioning the price Fio paid for engine work on her car, when she herself didn't even hold a driver's license.

Yes, the practice drove Fio to strive harder, to achieve more, but it has also left her unhappy with herself. And now she feels bad because she's criticizing her parents, who loved her very much.

Leaving, Cleaving, and Conceiving

Fio has accepted the fact that parents love their children more than their children love them. It's nature's way of protecting the perpetuation of the species. Thus parents will sacrifice and even die for the sake of their children, but children are hell-bent to pull away from their parents and live their own lives from the moment they're born. It's called maturity--they are preparing to assume the parent role themselves, in which the pattern will be repeated.

We all love our parents, but we love our offspring even more, which is as it should be. Parents are the past. Children are the future.