Invisible Child

Who is Jacob Roloff?  The red-headed stepchild?

Fiorella was cruising the channels the other night and watched a Little People, Big World catch-up special long enough to hear that Matt and Amy are at loose ends because "all the kids are gone."  Yes, Jeremy, Zack, and Molly are in college or out in the world--late-developing Zack even has a real live  girlfriend--but JACOB IS STILL AT HOME. Not only is he at home, but he's moping in his room, ALONE.

Jacob always has been odd-man-out.  He's neither a twin nor a dwarf nor a girl, but the classic fourth child, the tag-along, trouble-making little brother doing anything he can to get attention. Now that he's alone in the house with his parents, Matt and Amy have a wonderful last opportunity to make meaningful contact with their son, to let him know how much they love and cherish him. Instead, they're mourning the three kids who have flown the nest--and still brangling with each other.

Fio thought long and hard about publishing this blog because, if  Jacob does not realize his situation, it is cruel to tell him in such a public way.  But, actually, Fiorella thinks he does knows it--why else is he upstairs alone in his room?  The people who haven't caught on are Matt and Amy.  Not that any of the three will read Fiorella anyway.

Dwarf News (Revised)

Fiorella forgot to mention that she caught up with the Roloffs the other night.  Amy and Zack were on an expedition to climb Mt. St. Helens while Matt was having a little red schoolhouse built for the  Western town display at the Roloff farm.  Jacob only appeared briefly, and Jeremy and Molly were nowhere to be seen.

Too bad.  Matt, Amy, and Zachary (who practically ran up the mountain), were not enough to carry  a one-hour show.  Fiorella understands that climbing a mountain is tough, especially for a fifty-year-old female dwarf, but grunting gets boring after a while, and switching back and forth between the mountain climb and the construction of the schoolhouse didn't relieve the tedium.  There was no real conflict--we knew Amy would reach the top, and we knew the schoolhouse would get built in time. In romance writer speak, the show had a sagging middle. 

Especially dreary was Matt's constant prattle about how he was trying to please his wife with a surprise.  Number one, he's used that line before to justify whatever he wants to do. Number two, it sounded like he was trying to soften the egomaniac image we all have of him. Amy also tried to polish up the family, casually mentioning that she has three kids in college now.  Since Molly always took the academic high road, that must mean that Jeremy and Zack have finally gotten their heads together.  Fio is happy for them, but she would have preferred a show with the old drama.

On to other dwarf news, Friend Paula told Fio that she's read that Jen and Bill have adopted a dwarf baby, just as Fio hoped.  No sagging middle there.

Note to readers to rise early:  This blog has been revised from an earlier version that was, unfortunately, edited last night when Fiorella's brain was fried.

 

Bigger Bang

Fiorella couldn't sleep the other night so she worked out more plot solutions for Big Bang Theory.  I think she's already told you that Howard's unseen mother should move to Florida--maybe with a man--and give the house to Howard and Bernadette. And that Penny should get an acting job and plan to move, then marry Leonard, leaving Sheldon to audition a bevy of roommate candidates, only to come to the conclusion that only Amy Farrah Fowler will fit the bill.

Now to get Sheldon and Amy--uh--together, and to do something about Raj's psychosomatic muteness.

How about having Sheldon and Amy sit down to discuss creating a child to benefit mankind--by in vitro and surrogate, of course, to avoid all the ridiculous things people do when they're sexually aroused, which they'll start enumerating and describing.  Five minutes in, they're tearing off each others' clothes.  They'll end up holing up in the apartment for two weeks, phoning their friends to leave food at the door.

Now for Raj.  Let's say he sees a lovely young woman about to have a piano fall on her head or fall under a truck or something, yells a warning, and rescues her.  Not realizing he has saved her life, she tongue lashes him.  He responds accordingly, shocked out of his silence. She apologizes, introduces herself; he gives his name and realizes the curse is broken.

Hollywood, are you listening?