She Shall Leave Glasses Wherever She Goes.

Fiorella went to EyeMart yesterday morning and ordered two more pairs of glasses.  Yes, she admits she bought two pairs just six months ago, but she lost them, the most recent pair in New York.

Losing glasses has been a problem for Fio ever since she got her first pair when she was in the sixth grade.  And she knows why: most people wear their glasses full-time, but the ever-vain Fiorella will put them on only when desperately needed.

"Get one of those librarian things that latches onto the frames and hangs the glasses around your neck," you counsel Fio.  She tried that, and the handle of the glasses broke off and she lost the whole kit and caboodle.  "Put them down in the same place every time," you suggest.  And Fio tries to, but she moves around so much.  And, to complicate things, because she has permanent lenses for close-up work, she rarely wears glasses inside the house except to watch TV.

Pray for her and to her--Fiorella, the patron saint of the eyeglass industry.

Sweet Susan

One of the nicest moments of my class reunion was when Susan Stringer told me she'd always thought I had such nice skin. "And you still do."

I wanted to tie her up, pack her into the trunk of my my car, and take her home with me.

Ah, Fio, your vanity knows no bounds.

Ravages of Time

Time, the fourth dimension, the only one we can't alter. Or can we? Fio is doing her best with the blepheroplasty, the lasering, the microdermbrasions, the moisteners, the pills, and changing her eating habits. But what she really needs is the big stuff--the face lift--and you can't pick that up at Smooth Solutions or Walgreens.

Maybe the unalterable dimension is financial

$13,500 Is What It Costs

My jowls sag
My cheeks have shifted
I look like a hag
Time to get lifted.
Unfortunately I'm
Not monetarily gifted.

Head Shot

A month or so ago, Fio received word that she had finaled in the New Jersey RWA romance writing contest. Soon afterwards a head shot was requested of her .

Resisting the temptation to send a photo of Michelle Pfeiffer or of Daughter (who is even prettier), Fio got Younger Son to take a picture of her with his cell phone. It turned out great (translation: Fio looked basically humanoid) and Fio e-mailed it to NJ. Early last week she got a request for a more focused picture, one that wouldn't blur on Power Point, but, as you know, Fiorella has been sick as a dog ever since, her father has died, Younger Son's student loan request has been rejected, and Fio is trying to be a good hostess to Older Son and wife and will add Younger Son to the melange today.

Fio has not sent in a new picture yet. Fio may not ever send in a new picture. New Jersey may have to make do with her as she is at the moment: blurry.