Bad Day

Yesterday was not a good day.  The body shop called to tell Fio that it would cost $1800 to repair her Miata so the adjuster had decided to total it. To make it even worse, the adjuster didn't have the courtesy to make the call herself so Fiorella doesn't even quite understand what is going on except that Allstate is screwing her.

She went into shock, then anger--yes, screaming and ranting are her forte.  Then came the sobbing, the depression and despair.  Finally the dull acceptance, the final stage of grief that Emily Dickinson expressed so well:

After great pain, a formal feeling comes – (372)

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BY EMILY DICKINSON

After great pain, a formal feeling comes – 

The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs – 

The stiff Heart questions ‘was it He, that bore,’ 

And ‘Yesterday, or Centuries before’? 

The Feet, mechanical, go round – 

A Wooden way 

Of Ground, or Air, or Ought – 

Regardless grown, 

A Quartz contentment, like a stone – 

This is the Hour of Lead – 

Remembered, if outlived, 

As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow – 

First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go –

Ups and Downs, Downs, Downs

Fiorella was not as happy last night as she was Saturday night.  In fact, she H-U-R-T, mainly because she was totally confused about her pain pills.  And because she was confused about them, or maybe because OF them, she had the night terrors again.  Not as bad as the previous night, but scary enough that she had to call Husband in to sit with her for a while.

So she spent the early morning working out a logical painkiller schedule she will check with the doctor's office when it opens up for business.  And she trailed into the kitchen and cut herself a piece of bread to take a bite of with each painkiller to avoid indigestion.  And she reread her exercise book and learned the ice pack is only supposed to be applied for twenty minutes after each exercise session, not all the time.

And she hopes all this information will help someone else who's contemplating hip replacement somewhere along the line.

Oh, and a caveat--those two big booklets Fio was given by the hospital, the ones she actually read and tried to remember the contents of--they're out of date.