You may take the high road, but Fiorella will take the low road from now on. Yes, she's donating every last high-heeled shoe in her closet (even the red ones, sigh) to The Caring Place for some young chick to enjoy while she grounds herself with flats.
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Fio's hairdresser has moved to Washington State, which is too far a drive for Fiorella. It's not just the hair care Fio misses, but the company.
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Fio wants a tummy tuck. Yeah, three kids with an average birth-weight of ten pounds will do it to you. Then there's that seventy pounds of avoirdupois she gained and managed to shed a while back.
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More and more, the only part of the newspaper that makes sense to Fio is the comic strips.
Showing posts with label comic strips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comic strips. Show all posts
Monday, October 12, 2015
Monday, May 19, 2014
Luann, Don't Leave Me!
Luann's writer is running old strips as she and her pals graduate from high school, which puts Fiorella on edge because that's what Gary Trudeau did when he wound down Doonesbury. If Luann is jerked, that would leave Fio with just five reliably good comics--Edge City, Candorville, Baby Blues, Pooch Cafe, and Pickles. Oh, and Pearls before Swine--when it features the crocodiles
Fiorella's world is closing in on her.
Fiorella's world is closing in on her.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
And Yet More Worse
Now Fiorella will tackle the pater and mater familias of For Better or for Worse, John and Elly.
Retired dentist John, a model train enthusiast, will seem to be settling down into grandfatherhood, but actually he's been coupling on the side rail for while with another type model, one with big headlights and a cute caboose, for whom he will leave his wife. Elly, lonely and desperate, will take up cartooning. The full circle--what else?
A few other characters also need to be given more interesting futures. It will turn out that Gordon's business empire was terribly overextended and he will flee across the border and, ever the entrepreneur, set up a series of chop shops to finance a life of licentious luxury. Lawrence and his partner will break up and duke it out in court over their gardening business and the three Chinese children they have adopted. And April's old friend, Rebecca, becomes part of the Paris-Britney-Lindsey crowd and gets her shaved crotch featured on the Internet.
And you didn't know Canada could be that interesting!
Retired dentist John, a model train enthusiast, will seem to be settling down into grandfatherhood, but actually he's been coupling on the side rail for while with another type model, one with big headlights and a cute caboose, for whom he will leave his wife. Elly, lonely and desperate, will take up cartooning. The full circle--what else?
A few other characters also need to be given more interesting futures. It will turn out that Gordon's business empire was terribly overextended and he will flee across the border and, ever the entrepreneur, set up a series of chop shops to finance a life of licentious luxury. Lawrence and his partner will break up and duke it out in court over their gardening business and the three Chinese children they have adopted. And April's old friend, Rebecca, becomes part of the Paris-Britney-Lindsey crowd and gets her shaved crotch featured on the Internet.
And you didn't know Canada could be that interesting!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Even Worser
Lynn Johnston ended the comic strip For Better or for Worse with Elizabeth Patterson marrying her high school sweetheart, Anthony, which I thought was something of a cop-out, despite the realism of him being divorced with a child. But I know how to fix that.
I suggest killing off Anthony in a horrible automobile accident half-caused by Elizabeth's negligence so that, with stepdaughter in tow, she flees back to the North (remember, For Better or for Worse is a Canadian strip) to ponder her conscience while teaching in a First Nation schoolhouse again. Then she'll fall in love with the Territory doctor and, after a tortured courtship, they will marry. But he will fall through the ice trying to come to her side for the birth of their first child, and she, widowed again, but with two children now, will flee back to Toronto (or wherever it is her family lives) to ponder again.
Then she'll run into her old beau, Warren, whom she will get pregnant by, then marry, then lose when he crashes his helicopter into a mountain somewhere. So she flees to the North again, now with three children to care for.
Eventually she'll be a single mother living in a shoe with so many children she doesn't know what to do.
Hey, I'm good at this! Maybe I should approach a syndicate with my own comic strip.
I suggest killing off Anthony in a horrible automobile accident half-caused by Elizabeth's negligence so that, with stepdaughter in tow, she flees back to the North (remember, For Better or for Worse is a Canadian strip) to ponder her conscience while teaching in a First Nation schoolhouse again. Then she'll fall in love with the Territory doctor and, after a tortured courtship, they will marry. But he will fall through the ice trying to come to her side for the birth of their first child, and she, widowed again, but with two children now, will flee back to Toronto (or wherever it is her family lives) to ponder again.
Then she'll run into her old beau, Warren, whom she will get pregnant by, then marry, then lose when he crashes his helicopter into a mountain somewhere. So she flees to the North again, now with three children to care for.
Eventually she'll be a single mother living in a shoe with so many children she doesn't know what to do.
Hey, I'm good at this! Maybe I should approach a syndicate with my own comic strip.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Far Better and Far Worser
Fiorella is an addict of the newspaper comic strips and, until its recent demise, Lynn Johnston's For Better or for Worse was one of her favorites, although it did get a little sappy toward the end.
Fio liked the way the characters were born, aged, and died, even the dogs, and she liked the way the lives of Johnston's characters resembled real life--always the unexpected, nothing for certain. Given, Fio was a little irritated when Michael wrote his first novel and, without a bit of revision and without even querying the publisher, stuck the whole manuscript in the mail and had it accepted forthwith, but Fio just assumed Johnston did not know any neophyte novelists.
Anyway, Fio misses For Better or for Worse so much that she is dreaming up alternate endings for the characters. Stay tuned for the figments of Fio's fertile imagination.
Fio liked the way the characters were born, aged, and died, even the dogs, and she liked the way the lives of Johnston's characters resembled real life--always the unexpected, nothing for certain. Given, Fio was a little irritated when Michael wrote his first novel and, without a bit of revision and without even querying the publisher, stuck the whole manuscript in the mail and had it accepted forthwith, but Fio just assumed Johnston did not know any neophyte novelists.
Anyway, Fio misses For Better or for Worse so much that she is dreaming up alternate endings for the characters. Stay tuned for the figments of Fio's fertile imagination.
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