Tit for Tat

Recent studies have shown that we can blame Neanderthal DNA for our allergies, which means that Fiorella, who is currently the world's greatest consumer of Kleenexes, must be a purebred throwback. On the other hand, our Neanderthal DNA has also given us immunities that other humanoid groups did not possess.  And it is true that Fio is usually quite healthy.

Cave Woman Problems

Fiorella has long cherished the notion that she has a heavy dose of Neanderthal in her, but right now she's feeling it more than ever.  Yes, the computer has triumphed over her yet again.  She's been trying for more than a week to send photos off to her publicist in New York, but, despite Austin Son's help and Friend Cheryl's help, it's just not a-happenin'.  Friend Cheryl thought a program called Mozilla Thunderbird would do the trick, but it didn't.  Or maybe Fiorella screwed up the works.

We Neanderthals are better suited to chisels and stone tablets.

Told Ya So!

Fiorella never bought into the idea that Homo Sapiens killed off the Neanderthals.  Instead she theorized they died off because of problems with crossbreeding, that the maturity or birthweight of the mixed-breed babies killed off both the mother and the child--or something like that. It turns out Fio was wrong in the particulars, but, according to the latest DNA studies, was headed in the right directions: a Harvard Medical School report suggests that the male offspring of a Neanderthal-Homo Sapiens had a reduced fertility rate.  Get enough of that going, and--well--nothing gets going.

Any other scientific inquiries you'd like Fio to ponder on?

Rocks in Her Head

Fiorella has placed a print-out on meteorites on the little table next to the front door so that someone who has the time and the inclination can check out the rocks the line our 180-linear yard driveway.  She's convinced some of them are of extra-terrestrial origin, just as she's convinced she's part Neanderthal, and that someday the planting beds will be free of armadillos.

Fio Told You So

Aha!  Another popular theory that Fiorella thought was wacko has bit the dust--the right and left brain thing.  Fio kept her mouth shut, but she subscribed to that uh--lame-brained--theory as much as she believed that Neanderthals and homo sapiens never interbred or that, as was gospel in her schooldays, the matching shorelines of the New World and the Old were mere coincidence.

And she'll now come out of the closet and also say she doesn't believe there is intelligent life on other planets.

Neanderthal Art

Fio's first talent was art so she's especially interested in the news that the world's oldest cave art--the oldest discovered so far, at least--may be Neanderthal in origin.

The creation of visual art is unique to hominids. Forget about those elephants, parrots, and apes who have been taught to swash  brushes back and forth--true art is representative, not pseudo abstract.  We make pictures of things, of people, of events, of anything we see because we are driven to do so.  Maybe it's a compulsive memorization device, maybe a kind of control.  Fio's first recognizable picture, drawn when she was two and a half, was of her mother's vacuum cleaner.  Took care of that sucker.


Hmm . . . . Neanderthal art.  Maybe our artistic proclivity is part and parcel of our five percent Neanderthal DNA.  It works.  Fio has always maintained she has more Neanderthal in her than most.

Part and Parcel

An analysis out of Johns Hopkins reports that Neanderthals had relatively short limbs, which is "a common adaptation to cold weather." Fio's been telling you all along that ancestral genes designed her for cold weather, but she didn't realize her short arms and legs were part of the bargain. Ah, for a vacation home in the Swiss Alps.

Ah, for a vacation home anywhere out of this heat!

Neanderthal Dreams

Anthropologists now say Neanderthals contributed up to four percent of our genome and, except for their thicker bones, protruding foreheads, and stockiness, were much like us.

Fiorella is thrilled. Years ago a bone scan showed her skeleton to be freakishly dense (no comments about her head, please), and, after a juvenile growth spurt that made her the tallest in her class, she ended up short and stocky. Prominent foreheads run in Husband's family.

Maybe putting Fio and Husband's genomes together, their children ended up with six percent Neanderthal. Fio is doubly thrilled!